Lately, I have been really struggling with being a Working Mom. Financially I know that I would not be able to stay at home but that doesn't stop me from feeling the desire to. For several months now my one wish has been that I would be able to spend more time with Addison. Between working and studying for the CPA and the many other things that come up in life the days are flying by and she is growing more and more. As tax season approaches it makes this subject weigh even heavier on my heart. I do not want to miss one laugh or giggle, everytime she kisses me or gives me a hug and lays her head on my shoulder it melts my heart. I know these moments are few because one day she will grow up and instead of smiling and laughing she will be rolling her eyes. Money isn't everything but time is. I have talked to several people about this and what my options might be and I must say that I appreciate everyone's support. Before Addison I would have laughed at this idea and said not me I love working the crazy hours of tax season. I completley understand now what people told me when I was pregnant, that children change your life forever! Addison has changed mine in ways I can not even imagine, and this post being a very big example. So what am I going to do? Only time will tell but I am praying about this and have finally told a FEW in my family and friends. This isn't something I am broadcasting until I figure this situation out. Now that I have told people it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of my chest and I feel like I am working towards solving my dilemma. I wish I had a picture for some of the reactions that I got because anyone who knows me knows that I am driven and what I want out of life and all of the studying and school. But when I say that statement I hear "I" and I am now a "we". A "we" who 20 years from now does not want to look back and regret not doing everything I could to spend every second with my baby and hopefully future babies. My Aunt said you know when I was young with babies we worked all the time because we were so concerned about money but I think people have it all wrong, I think you should enjoy those moments when you're young and you can work your butt off when your kids are 20 and they move out of the house. And I believe she is right, it makes sense most of the people at my office who work a million hours (except for one) do not have children at home so they fill their time with work. When I told Dan my feelings I was about to study for my next portion of the CPA exam for the night and he said, "You want to give all of this up". I said I am not giving anything up, but later I thought about this statement and when you put it in perspective most people would give up anything or do anything for their child. So just be praying for me and the road that lay ahead. I appreciate all of the support I have gotten, I do not know why I was hesitiant to share my feelings especially to my husband. He is always so supporting and so loving and wants me to do whatever will make me happy because if I am happy he is happy. I am beyond blessed with amazingly supportive people in my life, and the most precious baby girl! If you don't agree check out this video:
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